


Blood on his hands

by thatdragonchic



Category: The Maze Runner (Movies), The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Injury, M/M, Mild Blood, Minor Violence, Newt is a doctor, dark newtmas, newtmas - Freeform, newtmas has a child, newtmas is married, surgeon newt, there's a lot of guts involved, thomas is an assassin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 09:03:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13923855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatdragonchic/pseuds/thatdragonchic
Summary: Newt would do anything for Thomas, even if his husband is a sinner





	Blood on his hands

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by chats with Owen, Avery, Eve and anybody else who was apart of the (pretty brief) assassin Thomas au chat! that really kicked my inspiration in the gut

Thick white gloves are slipped on as the nurse reads off what the police officers had told her, Newt grabbing a mask to cover his face. “The wound reached-”

“Through to the organs. Stitches required, a look at what they believe is her appendix is suggested. Internal bleeding was confirmed on the ride over.”

“How did this happen?”

“Domestic violence case.”

“How old is this kid?”

“Seven.”

_ Oh _ . Newt feels his heart sink right into his stomach, he’s determined they’ll live, but he’s not sure if that would do them better or worse. He just knows he wants them to live, he’d take the kid in himself if he had to. (And that really  _ complicates _ things, doesn’t it?) He walks into the operating room, he’s proud that his nurses are already trying to secure the wounds and the kid’s already on lifelines. He pulls on his lab coat and he goes to the operating table, just taking a look at the deep knife wound.

How do you do this to a child? How do you deliberately stick a knife in their gut in and slash them? How much pain could you enjoy to do that? What kind of anger does it take to do this sort of thing? How sick? How twisted? 

“Are the parents here?” Newt asks after a few moments.

“No.”

“Who did it?”

“The mother’s fiance.”

“ _ Oh _ .”

It wasn’t even this kid’s father. Part of him feels anger well up, and he’s so determined. The heart monitor is steady, he really hopes they’re in a blissful state of nowheresville, where the darkness succumbed and removed the pain. Maybe there was light. Maybe there was a garden, maybe it was just the echoing words of an arabic poem, and a bright bright light. Newt hopes the child isn’t in any knowing pain until they can bare to take this poor thing off the morphine. He feels a long lost ache clutch at his chest.

His daughter was 7, Cadence was the sweetest love of his whole life. Him and Thomas saw all the light in the world in her, the only person on this earth they loved more than her were each other. There’s this kid, and as he aims to fix the internal bleeding. That’s the first thing he does. They’ll be in here a while, that he knows for certain. His hands are steady, certain. There’s no room to shake or falter in the cause of this child who is in dire need of his help and his aid. Everybody is careful, everybody can tell he’s upset. It doesn’t matter.

“What’s his name?”

“Collin.”

He nods. Then he needs to start stitches. They prepare the needle and thread, suppress the bleeding, suck up extra fluid and check the IV’s. Newt’s determined the kid will live. 

“Ready to proceed with the operation?” Newt asks and they all agree, he aids them through it, his hands don’t shake, his instinct is high. He does what he has to do, and he makes sure that the kid lives. He refuses to let this 7 year old die here in an operating room under the worst circumstances possible. No, he wasn’t letting it happen. He doesn’t get lost in thought, he doesn’t take his time. He’s quick, deliberate. He has to be. He has no choice. He won't lose them. 

It takes 3 hours total, perhaps a little over. Newt watches as the blood that seeped throw wash off his hands. His heart racing in his chest. How do you hurt the young and innocent? How do you be so heartless so cruel?

He breathes in deep, shutting the water off and going to dry his hands. He then sits down and grabs his notebook. He taps the pen for a long, endless stretch of 3 minutes.

“Dr. Newton? You're needed for Patient Ivory Dennis’ Follow up in room 514.”

“The cancer patient?”

“Yes.”

“Okay I'll be right there.”

She nods and he sighs. Folding the empty paper and placing it in his pocket. He stands and goes to grab the clipboard on Ivory and heads to her room, his brave face going on. “Miss Dennis,” he chirps. “How are you feeling?”

“Like shit.”

“It's typical after Chemo,” Newt says.”I'm Dr. Newton, I've been handling your chemo and your files, and keeping up with you. I’m sorry we haven’t met prior to today.”

“I’m sure you have a good reason,” The kid says sarcastically and Newt nods.

“As an emergency surgeon normally the reason is pretty valid,” Newt says gently. “Listen, I know this is hard for you to go through but no matter what, me and my team do try to be here as much as we possibly can be to support you. We just want what’s best for you, and we want to help you.”

The kid sighs, and he sits on the edge of the bed. “You’re doing extraordinarily well,” Newt informs. “Have you been having any other symptoms from Chemo? Besides feeling like shit of course.”

“I’m dizzy.”

He nods. “Trouble eating?”

“Yeah.”

“Any pains?”

“Not necessarily.”

He nods. “Good, our chemo team here is really very good about these things. I personally don’t handle it but I oversee those kinds of things usually.”

“Why? Are you somebody important or something?”

“Uhm… I hope to be. Now I’m just the Doctor your parents agreed on.”

“I’m sure I’m not on your priority list since you’re so busy.”

“I make sure all of my patients feel prioritized. Those gifts are paid for by somebody. And yeah, you can’t buy human interaction and love but… I can’t always be here. Doctors need sleep to you know? Also my husband would more or less kill me if I worked any more than I already do.”

“You look too young to have a husband.”

“Yeah? Well, I have one. And a seven year old.”

She nods, curious looking. 

“Wanna see a picture?” he offers and she nods, and he pulls up a photo of Thomas and Cadence baking. “I was treated with the most amazing strawberry brownies when I got home.”

“Strawberry brownies?”

“Yeah, they’re definitely a different kind of treat.”

He laughs and she does too. “Am I getting better?” she asks and Newt softens. 

“You are,” he says. “You’re very strong, and you’re doing amazingly. Just promise you’ll pull through with some medications and follow up treatments and you’ll be golden, okay?”

She nods. “Okay, I promise.”

He smiles and pats her hand. “No more chemo sessions,” he says. “You should be proud.”

He dismisses himself and while he leaves one family happy, he knows he may have to leave another family devastated. The worst part is being unable to save somebody's baby. He walks down the fluorescent halls and he sort of hates how dim the lights are, just in this moment everything is a little overwhelming. He can’t stop thinking about the boy and how it could be his daughter. He keeps thinking how lucky he is, that Thomas doesn’t turn out that way. See the potential for Thomas harming them is so much greater, he has the capability the aptitude, but he’s ever the gentle soul, outside of the business he’s in. 

He checks his time and goes downstairs to the gift shop, where he finds a great multitude of things but specifically, he was looking for a necklace. It was like a little metal bottle, and he grabs it and buys one and then sits down on the arm chairs outside in the lounge. He pulls out the blank paper again and just stares. What do you say to somebody so damaged? What do you tell a child when they’ve been so wounded? He can’t seem to think of the words. He can’t even think of what he might tell Cadence if it ever happened. What he one day might have tell Cadence if she finds out what Tommy does, if she so happens to stumble upon the business he’s involved himself in. 

He fiddles with the pen, just staring. What do you say to a child who’s been sliced open by their parents? What do you say? 

_ I am here for you. I’m willing to fight for you.  _ It doesn’t sound right. Nothing sounds right. He can’t place the words and- “Dr. Newton?” It was his boss. Crap. “You alright?”

“Yeah… I just… I was- it’s nothing,” he dismisses. 

“Perhaps you should take the night off, get home to your family.”

That sounds so relieving he wants to cry. “It’s alright I have-”

“I know but you’ve been working awfully hard and what with that police investigation and the child… you should go rest. Dr. Henry is coming in soon and Dr. Ono is on call.”

“Okay… thank you.” He's not sure if this is what he needs but he accepts. “Hey… uhm the kids gonna be okay right, mate?”

“Well you tell me,” His boss says brows raised.

“No I mean… legally. What's gonna happen to him?”

He presses his lips together. “I don't know Doctor Newton,” he whispers and Newt nods. “I uh.. I can find out?”

“Please.” 

“Go home.”

“Okay,” Newt agrees. He takes the necklace and the paper with him to clock out. Grabs his thermos and his lunch container. He says his goodbyes and goes to his car. For a moment he just lets himself sink into the seat, glancing around the parking lot. He locks the doors and turns it on, backing out and the drive home he’s on autopilot. It doesn’t occur to him to call Thomas, the thoughts of the boy and his parents riddle his head. How do you hurt a child like that? How do you cut them open? How heartless? How merciless? What could a child do to deserve such a thing? Maybe they were crazy. Maybe they were drunk. Maybe they were psychos. How do you hurt a child? How do you kill your baby? 

Before he knows it he’s home and he just needs a big glass of Brandy. He needs it more than anything. He wants to forget, he wants Tommy to kiss him until his brain has nothing left in it. He wants to sit by Cadence and just watch her breathe, like when she was a fragile infant, and she couldn’t tell him she was trying to sleep all sassy the way she was. (That’s  _ Thomas’  _ fault, thank you very much.) He smiles, thinking of how small she used to be. How much she’s grown and how much he loves her, his head looping back to Thomas, how Thomas loves her, loves  _ him _ . He takes a deep breath and sighs, grabbing his keys from the keyhole and going up to the door. He sneaks into the house, listening to hear the shower on. It's almost ten so he can assume its Thomas not Cadence.

He goes to her bedroom and he rests on the edge of her bed, petting her hair out of her face, leaning over to kiss her soft cheeks. Hands on her small face. He just lets her sleep, listening to her breath as he rest his head on the headboard. He distinctly remembers when she was only a baby, how she'd be wrapped in the blanket, resting on his knees. He was a lot younger than, a lot different. A lot happier too maybe. Babies drive you nuts but make you happy. 

The door creaks open and he startles. “Sammy?”

“Hey love. You okay?”

“Yeah just… You're home really early?”

“It's a long story,” Newt tells him, letting his husband take him into his arms and hold him, kissing his head. The world melts into a blissful peace. He feels the bad, nasty, and evil slip away. Sometimes you do what you think is right, and even if such things are perhaps wrong they don't make you evil. 

And Thomas heart beats steadily. Its what keeps him grounded. “Whats on your mind?”

Love. Love was hard, love was long work. He sometimes wondered if he still loved Thomas, and he looks beside him to find his love there, sleeping in bed and what you feel is something warm fill the hollows of your chest. Love was ever present and Newt, no matter the business Thomas chose to involve himself in, no matter how many times he was dragged into it, would always love Thomas. It was a fact.

“Lets go to our room,” Newt whispers. 

They do, they go silently, hands laced and Newt lets Thomas settle on the armchair first before draping himself across his lap. It reminds him distinctly of the night before their wedding. Right before the Rehearsal, Tommy sat him down and took his hands. 

_ “I've kept a dark secret from you…” _

_ “You have?” Newt asks, brow raising. “What are you about to go Christian Grey on me?” _

_ “No… but I think you'll wish I did?” _

_ “What?” _

_ “I'm a government trained assassin.” Tommy had been kneeling in front of him, their hands clasped. Newt felt his whole body stiffen. It was like his world came crashing down. Thomas was not lying.  _

_ “Then you sure as hell don't do anything that can get you killed. I can't live my life without you, Tommy so god help you if you- you- you go, you get in, you get out. You come home to me.” _

_ “I will.” _

He rubs a hand over Tommys shoulder, Thomas kissing his neck. Newt sighs soft. Home felt like relief. He thinks he's gotten lucky- that Tommy is even tempered and loving. That Tommy keeps businesses separate from his home life, that Thomas was a good man with the best intentions.

He traces the sharp lines of his face with his black eyes, the moon mingles with the lamp light, and Thomas watches him concerned. How dangerously capable his love is, is obvious by how his eyes know every answer and Newts never said a word. His love is obviously dangerous in how his mind was built as a weapon, his body a tool to destruction. His love was more fragile in soft tears than jagged edges and Newt is certain that he would put his life down for Thomas. He would testify all greatnesses, he'd justify all actions. If Thomas ever died he'd fall too. There was no  _ life  _ that he could lead that didn't involve the man with a knife to his throat.

Newt thinks how he could ever explain to Cadence that her father is the best man alive when he's blood drenched in the palms of his hands. Newt wonders how anybody could understand that even if he was ruled out by an enemy, brought to his knees at gun point, he'd never give if it meant Tommy lives. Newt wonders how he himself could ever live knowing he's been a catalyst to a corrupt government who kills those against the agenda, but if it meant keeping Thomas safe- his one heart and soul- was he not justified?

“They brought a child in, his future step father ripped him open with a knife.”

Thomas is perplexed. “How can we help?”

“I am not sure.” 

“Newt…”

“Yes?”

“You didn't hurt that child.”

“How does a person be so cruel? How does a mother just watch it happen?”

“Cadence is safe.”

“I can't stop thinking maybe it won't always be that way for us.”

“You're safe too. I won't let anything happen to you guys.”

“Thomas?”

“Yes?”

“I would do anything for you.”

The words are easy on the pages when you’ve melted into the bed with the love of your life pressed to your bare back. He can’t really remember the last times his legs had burned like this, he doesn’t know if Thomas fully understood what he said, that he meant it. That if it was do or die, Newt  _ was  _ his ride or die. One day Cadence would know, Newt was certain of that. There was no way he could hide such things from her, when what they did was bloody bad doings. She may never trust again, she may even hate them. She might kill herself with the secrets they’ve burdened her with, and Newt can’t stand to bare that thought, but he thinks you commit yourself to certain things in this world, and he has committed to Thomas. 

Cadence bounds into their room in the morning and normalcy settles in. They go about pretending they’re not undressed and that they just need her to leave to get something before scrambling to pull clothes on. Newt pretends like he can’t see the blood soaking her shirt, the bruises from bleeding on her legs. He pretends that the violence is not so horrifically present and smiles for her. Kisses her goodbye as her friend takes her to school. 

“I won’t let anybody hurt her,” Thomas says, standing by the door with him, the two with coffee mugs in hands.

“How do you ever let your child just…? I don’t understand.”

“People are wicked.”

“People are cruel.”

“I do what I think is right, for the greater good. You do know that, don’t you, Newt?”

“Tommy, I never place any doubt in you.”

Thomas nods and kisses the side of his head. It was an impassioned, deep kiss placed their. Newt feels every bad thought melt away into his bloodstream, into his lungs and out with his deep breath. 

_ I have no words for what has happened to you, and I am so so sorry. I wish that I could help to my fullest capacity, but I am almost certain that you do not what to be thrown into the mundanes of my life. It’s funny, what we do for loyalty. It’s rare that you love somebody so deeply that you would stand beside them no matter what.  _

_ I hope that one day you find that love, you fill your life with passion. I hope I don't’t fail you, as the person who is to heal you physically. I hope one day you understand you are far more worth than the scars on your body. It took me a long time to learn that one.  _

_ Dream on kid _

_ Dr. Newton _

He leaves the necklace with the note inside in the palm of this kid’s hand and he meets Thomas down by the playground, where he entertains some of the more well off kids. The kids who can bare to run and be free for just those fleeting moments. His heart fills with a sorrow he’s almost unaware of before. 

“Dr. Newton, you have your 2 o’clock appointment,” an assistant tells him and he hurries inside. He waves at those bright smiling faces, and he wishes they didn’t hurt so much. He hates that he knows in one of these rooms one of those children, perhaps even a friend of theres, has breathed for the last time. Newt wishes he could save them, but sometimes you can’t save every person. And then what is the point? Well, so you learn something and you force your way forward. 

“We have to discuss the grounds on which this patient is on…”

“If there is any insurance issues, I’ll cover it,” Newt says instantly. “There is to be nothing this child worries about. If he needs a family, I will find him one. If he needs a place to stay, my home is his.”

“Mr. Newton… are you sure?”

“Doctor Newton, I didn’t study for nothing.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

“Alright… So on for the legal matters then.”

He gets out of that and Thomas is waiting in his office, just reading a book. He longs to be back in Thomas’ arms, under his body. 

“I said we’d help him, under every circumstance.”

“Kid deserves it.”

“Thomas?”

“Yes?”

“I meant it.”

“What?”

“That I would do anything for you,” Newt whispers. 

“We’ll be okay. I promise you that.”

“It doesn’t matter if we’ll be okay-”

“What’s brought this on?” thomas whispers.

“You could be somebody so different, and I fear that maybe one day you’ll snap, but I know you better than my fears. And I know you better than anything else. If there is anything I am sure of it’s my loyalty to you. You’re everything to me.”

“Sammy, you’re my whole life.”

“And you’re mine, but don’t ever forget that I have my whole hearted faith in you. I trust you. I believe in you. I would stand for you in front of anybody who questions you, and I would tell them you’re the best man I’ve ever known. My loyalty to you is endless.”

“And I will be grateful in every life I live for it.”

“You have no choice,” Newt whispers, a smirk playing his lips. 

Thomas smirks and it’s right before their lips meet a nurse walks in. “Mr. Newton, you’re needed in an emergency.”

Thomas stops him before he goes. “Redeem the lives I take by letting the ones you fix live.” 

“If all your sins are washed away by my deeds so be it. I refuse to go where you’re not.” 

He kisses Thomas and he is swept back up into the bloody operations that he solely washes from his hands, until he is once again home to Thomas. 

  
  



End file.
